Upcoming Sunday Worship Services
Due to the attack on the World Trade Center buildings, the announced sermon topic on forgiveness has given way to this, which is entitled, "On Looking Within - The Jewish Commitment to Spiritual Maturity."
To begin, a story:
I'd like to begin this morning by sharing a dream with you. I saw myself in the dream - I was alone in a huge formal room standing before what I knew must be God. Although I have no visual memory, there was a power enthroned in the room, surrounded by angels. I had the sense that many beings filled the room, and I knew instinctively that this was the Heavenly Court and I was standing at my Day of Judgment. The angels next to God flew to a huge book, and , flying , opened it to a page that had to do with me. This was the Book of Life and my name was inscribed in it. In it was everything I've done. Not even the smallest deed had been overlooked. All of my good deeds were written in black ink on the Credit side of the page. All of my bad were written in red ink on the Debit side.
I was on trial, and it was real, and I remember my astonishment and trepidation.
I watched. All of my good deeds came out of nowhere as angels and spoke in my defense. and I felt good and began to relax a bit. Then the prosecuting angel, who turned out to be Satan, stood up and laid out my sins. I felt hopeless hearing them list decisions that seemed so unimportant at the time.
After the dreadful accounting was over I was left alone in the silence to wait for a verdict. It seemed like forever.
Then suddenly the defending angel appeared before me. "Tricia" the angel said, "God has not yet rendered a verdict."
I was confused. "Why not?" I could hardly breathe.
"Today is the Day of Judgment. On this day only two books are opened. One is filled with the names of the righteous. The other is filled with the wicked."
"My name isn't written in either one?"
"No, that is why you must wait," the angel responded. "For both the righteous and the wicked, the Holy One renders and seals the verdict at once. But your name, Tricia, has been written into the third book--- the book that lists those who are not entirely good nor entirely bad."
"What will happen to me?"
"Your verdict has been suspended for ten days. If you can turn to the good, then will be inscribed in the Book of Life." If you do not, - the angel shrugged - the choice is yours....
I awoke up out of my sleep into a sort of epiphany, realizing myself as one, not wicked, but not quite righteous, either - The sun was shining and everything was strangely normal except for the beating of my heart. Filled with awe at the gift I had been given of a second chance. I vowed I would do better as I rose to meet the day.
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Now, I have a confession to make. I didn't actually have that dream. It was adapted from a classic Jewish story appropriate to this time of year because it goes to the heart of what the Jewish High Holy days are about.
Last Tuesday was Rosh Hashanah, which marks the beginning of the most solemn holiday cycle for Jews, ending this Thursday with Yom Kippur. Rosh Hashanah functions as the first day in court, the opening scene in the dream when one’s life is placed on the balance scales. Rosh Hashanah awakens the participant into the reality that, whether one likes it or not, or whether one acknowledges it or not, humanity is born into that dream space - for anyone who believes that human lives have meaning must concede that the meaning of one's life will be written - is being written by every deed. Rosh Hashanah is a time for individuals to look at the book of their own lives honestly. It is a reminder that we will be judged by the sum of our own actions and choices. The liturgy of Rosh Hashanah reflects the courtroom mentality and is heavy with the possibility of the judgment to be rendered.
The Rosh Hashanah service is set apart from others by the blowing of the shofar, a curved instrument made from a ram’s horn and one of the oldest musical instruments in human history. Tradition holds that a specific set of sounds must be blown - straight, long blasts followed by sets of broken, shorter sounds. There are many speculations as to the meanings of these blasts- The longer sounds seem to communicate, "The court is in session!" and are thought to evoke awe, fear and trembling before judgment. It is intended to be a powerful stimulus to stop living routinely. The shorter, broken sounds seem to mimic the sounds of crying as awareness of our transgressions and need for change sinks in. The days that follow between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are known as the Days of Awe. These ten days are a time to take stock - a time of reflection to consider whether our decisions are worthy of the life we have been given. They are a reminder, and a stern one, that our days are numbered, and that their meaning is up to us.
The Days of Awe are more than that, though. They also provide an opportunity to be born again, an invitation to do inner work. Jews are invited to change their fate, or themselves, through a process known as teshuvah or returning to their essence. According to Maimonides, a medieval rabbinical authority Teshuvah involves three steps: acknowledgment of one's wrongdoing; realizing the true consequences of one's actions and committing to respond differently.
What must be confronted and rooted out is not, in most people, radical evil. According to Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik what we need to route out is the "habit and conditioning which all too often... keep a person torn between apathy and ideal and between inertia and the desire for improvement. Against these powerful [common] forces which proclaim that humans cannot change, the cycle of these holy days teaches that there is capacity for renewal and unification of life." This ten day cycle known as the Days of Awe provides a time and a practice to work towards redemption. This is a time of self-reflection and looking inward.
Yom Kippur, the day that ends the Holy Day cycle, is a day of both dread and hope. The dread is a response to the need for honesty and confession. Jews are expected to arrive at the Yom Kippur service prepared to confess their sins. Guilt is not the prime interest here. Willingness to recognize one's own sins is considered a sign of moral maturity and a necessary step in growth and change, the turning away from sin that Yom Kippur liturgy is about. The formal prayers of Yom Kippur offer a confession of sins listed alphabetical order and covering the range of human behavior. Rabbi Irving Greenburg says: "Compassionately enough, the confessions are in the plural form - everyone confesses all the sins, and each individual applies the appropriate categories to themselves.... The sins range from violence or cheating or slandering of others to arrogance or unfairness in word or deed. The range is staggering: there are sins you have committed, sins you would never think of doing and even sins that sound so exciting you wish you had done them." (The Jewish Way p. 212)
It was on Yom Kippur historically that the High Priest entered the Holy of Holies in Jerusalem, the inner sanctum, to ask forgiveness for his people. The context for this trial must always be understood with an understanding that there is hope because with with God there is always hope. The reality is, that we human beings need strong promptings to return to life, to accept the invitation to our own moral maturity, growth and change. In the prayers of the Yom Kippur liturgy people drop all excuses and throw themselves on the mercy of the court. Greenburg says, "In the clear light of Yom Kippur, Jews have considered the normal idolatries to which they give their lives, and now they know their emptiness, so [near the end of the liturgy] there is a final triumphant cry, "God is Lord!" Thus hope is proclaimed and there is one long, loud blast from the shofar. (The Jewish Way, p. 214
I would like to conclude this morning with a guided spiritual exercise .Please close your eyes and become one with the speaker, and then listen with an open heart:
When I try to change what I dislike in me
By fighting it
I merely push it underground.
But if I accept it,
It will resurface and evaporate
What I resist
Will stubbornly persist.
And so awareness is my goal.
I start with feelings, thoughts and behaviors that I dislike.
To each of them I talk
In a loving, accepting kind of way
And listen to what each has to say,
Because, while I know these parts of me can do me harm,
They will do me good, become my angels
if I can learn the reason for their appearance.
I keep on with the dialogue
Until I feel a real acceptance of these feelings, thoughts and behaviors
--acceptance, not approval, not resignation--
So that I am no longer depressed about my depressions
Or angry with my anger
Or discouraged because of my discouragement
Or frightened of my fears
Or rejecting of my feelings of rejection.
I do the same with some of the many other things about my life
That I want to change:
My personal shortcomings... the external circumstances of my life... the whole world as it is... old age, sickness, death.
Again, while I know that each of these can do me harm,
They will do me good, be a source of deepening vision and wisdom
If I can learn the reason for their appearance.
In doing so I undergo a transformation:
While everything is the same
--my feelings, my family, my world
I am the same no longer.
For I have named what is undesirable.
And I recognize inward habits and conditioning that thwart change
I commit myself now through prayer and reflection
to change.
I commit now, knowing my days are numbered...
I am ready now to place myself on the mercy of the court.
You may open your eyes now.
It has been a little over 10 days since the bombing of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Let us hope our leaders have also turned inward, committed to deepening their vision. For our collective book is being written through their actions.
In some Yom Kippur services participants are invited to raise a fist in protest against all that is wrong in the world... greed, violence, terrorism, pollution, and human-made miseries of every imaginable sort. The fist isn’t raised against the world or against any of its inhabitants... be they good or evil. The fist of protest is raised in rage or anguish, but ultimately is lowered to one’s own heart in the sad realization that no amount of rage or self-righteousness will mend all that needs mending unless the mending begins in one’s own heart. The judgment begins here.
I invite you now to raise the fist of protest high........ and to lower it to your own heart.....